My Stories 4: Ordination—Holiness and Hollowness

It is a common tactic of bullies to pick on those they consider weak or inferior. In institutions, this sometimes happens when groups or critics can’t get at the boss or the person in charge, so they attack the next in line or someone close to their real target.

This happened to me, more than once—and very strangely in the very act of my ordination.
I was approved to be ordained by the relevant Baptist Union committee, at the conclusion of what was called the ‘probationary year’. Then I was to make a short presentation to the General Council of the Baptist Union, a body of some 200 or so delegates from the churches, which would make the final decision to approve my ordination.
On that occasion, something completely without precedent occurred, however. Up until then, this event was a strongly affirming and positive process for candidates. But for me this was the time when a horrible political game was played out.

A brief bit of background. Whitley College, where I had completed my theological education, was bitterly opposed by a small but vigorous group of ‘Hyper-Calvinist’ people. They wanted the Baptist Union to close Whitley College and create instead an appropriately conservative college, separate from the university of which Whitley was a part. Ministers should be trained in a place of holy separateness. At this time, Whitley College was blessed with a very substantial financial backing, and the goal of this group was to take those funds and redirect them to a new college. Furthermore, they had identified a person who could lead this college. He had been invited back to Australian from a seminary in the USA and he was presented for ordination on the same night as I was.

After I had made my presentation, a representative of this group rose in the meeting to quiz me on five matters of doctrine. This had never happened before and was highly significant. The college Principal was actually their target, but since he had for several years now identified me as an outstanding student, who had just gained a First Class Honours Degree in theology, they chose to challenge me.

I don’t recall all five topics they raised, but one was the Mosaic authorship of the first five books of the Bible, and another was the doctrine of Penal Substitutionary Atonement. Somehow, I managed my way through these topics, and although many people considered what had happened very unfair, I was just relieved that the outcome was positive, and I thought that was the end of it.

How wrong I was. In fact this was just part of this group’s continuing practice of gathering ‘evidence’ of the ‘liberalism’ of the college and its products.

Two months later came the actual service of ordination. In this service, each candidate was to make a short statement of their own sense of calling and vision of ministry.
Then, very solemn vows were taken, followed by a rite of the ‘laying on of hands’, with prayer. This is a profound and holy moment in a pastor’s life. It is ordination into and for the Church, made with and for the whole Church, and for me this was commitment of my life to that calling.

But to my astonishment, the political machinations appeared again. When the other candidate presented his statement, he referred at least 5 times to ‘Western Conservative Baptist Theological Seminary, in Portland, Oregon’, where he had received such superior training, and he declared his vision to bring that ethos and character of ministry to our state. To illustrate what that meant, he proceeded to quote my words (which someone had clearly recorded from the General Council meeting) and then corrected me on each point. Not this, but that. Not only, but more than that …

At first, I did not realise what was happening, but as I recognized my own words I saw the game he was playing. I was being corrected and repudiated, as the means of attacking the college.

After that, I found myself feeling gutted, just hollow and unsure what to think or feel. At this critical moment, meant to be such an awesome spiritual experience of blessing and assurance, I just felt sad and alienated.

As it happened, the other ordinand for that evening actually left the state within a year. The ploy did not work.  I have continued in ordained ministry for the last 48 years, 26 of them teaching at Whitley College, and 11 of those as its Principal.

Very soon after that experience, however, I began to recognize that in so many areas of the Church, as with any other human community or organization, there are always politics. There are those who love these games and almost always it is about a struggle for power, control, and money. And almost always that power or control has its victims—those too weak to resist or those who cannot push back.

And in realizing this, I came to see that I must learn to understand these games. I should not ignore them. If I ignored them, I would simply be ceding power to these operators and not considering the consequences, especially for those exploited or silenced by their machinations.

Thus I made a commitment to myself, that I would learn to recognize these games, very serious games as they are, and understand what was happening, and respond to them, actively: not ‘playing’ the game, but using my voice and initiative towards other objectives, especially for those who need support, not control;  to uplift, not put down; to encourage and inspire, not push aside. In short, to give myself to the mission of justice and the hope of God’s way in and for the world.

Another vital lesson from these experiences is the recognition and affirmation that there are no ‘pure’ spiritual experiences. Just as a college cannot separate ministry from the real world, and should not try, neither should we pretend that we live in a ‘holy otherness’. The Christian Gospel insists upon a God who chooses to be among us, one with us, and it is in this thoroughly earthly reality that we find truth and wholeness.

In a sense, the outcome of the ordination service was a real sense of commissioning and direction, in the work of ministry. I would say that the Spirit of God has used that unworthy political game to strengthen and guide me, and for all that I am grateful.

Thankfully ordination processes no longer involve the opportunity for public ‘examination’ such as was used against me.